littlemissnovella: (blood)

Pretend to Eat for Me

Summary: Pretend to eat for me. And I did. Implied Eating DisorderKate's PoV.

Disclaimer: If I owned Lizzie McGuire, this would be how Kate really thinks...but Disney owns the show.


You could say this problem started in high school. I love being a cheerleader. Who doesn't? But the price does come at a high price. It's not everday to hear from the older and cooler cheerleaders that in order to stay on the squad, I needed to lose my "baby fat."

It hurts to heat that from (ex) friends that I am fat. I am not, but I needed to lose the weight, "the baby fat." Essentially everyone started noticing my new body, after I lost a few pounds and all the guys stated hitting on me. I felt sorta happy, but then I wondered if I was never beautiful before?

I think it was a year where I suppressed my eating. I would tell myself a lie, that I was not hurting myself. When really I was. But with no one at home to stop me and my new (ex) friends supporting me there was no way for me to stop myself.

I still pretend not to feel guilty, that I was not hurting myself. I think only a few people truly noticed, but Ethan, probably didn't know till he said to pizza with him. I'll just pretend to eat for him.

And I'll lie awake at night trying to soften my retching sounds and to cry myself to sleep. I will wake up the next day and pretend that everything is ok. After all, that's what I have to do in order to still be a cheerleader.

Pretend

Apr. 26th, 2015 12:16 am
littlemissnovella: (blood)

Pretend

Summary: And the pretending doesn't make it any easier. Kate's PoV.

Disclaimer: If I owned Lizzie McGuire, this would be how Kate really thinks...but Disney owns the show.


I used to be really good friends with Lizzie and Gordo, and everything was great. Until I was sucked into the world of middle school, where if you wanted to be anyone, you had to be cool. And I wanted in. And I really was happy with my new friends, because I had nothing better to do at home. With Claire, I could actually go shopping and her mother is really cool and helpful, so not like my mother. But being cool came with a price. I had to not like the ones below the cool kids, like Lizzie and Gordo, my really great friends in elementary school.

So I pretend not to like them, and tried to help in the little things to them. And the pretneding not to like them doesn't make it any essier. I want to go back to the days of sharing cookies, and laughing at Gordo's not so funny jokes, and to be popular. But I still want true friends.

Life isn't easy for me but I'll pretend like it is.

littlemissnovella: (sunset)

The Old Dust in the Flame

Disclaimer: I don't own Lizzie McGuire, Disney does.

Summary:

I'm not me, reflected Kate. There's a reason why Miranda hates Kate a lot. Implied KatexMiranda, LizziexGordo. Warning: Femslash. Don't like then don't read it!

PS. I got permission from anotherfan311 to reupload this and continue this story for her!

I'm not me, reflects Kate. I am not me, because I don't know who I really am. It's like I have no control in my actions anymore. I know, it's because I always wanted to be popular. But, I don't know who my friends are anymore. Lizzie and Gordo still talk to me, and forgive me for what I have done in middle school. After all, we are learning who we truly are, said Gordo. Always the psychologist that one, no matter how much he tries to hide the fact that he hates psychology, he can actually be a good psychologist, like how his parents are.

However, Miranda doesn't speak to me. She doesn't talk to me.

I think I know why. I kissed her at Danny's party, the one that Lizzie and Gordo didn't get invited. I kissed her on the lips as a dare, and yet something lingers when I kissed her.

I know why I was so cruel to Lizzie all throughout middle school.

I was in love with Miranda, and I was worried that with all the time that Miranda hangs out with Lizzie.

No wonder, Miranda still hates me all those years. I toyed with her emotions, destroyed her best friend more than once.

But I did that all for the name of love.

I guess love and hate can be really close.

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